It’s half term week, so I ‘m taking the kids camping

In this weather, I hear you cry?  I know.  I would offer a sane explanation, but instead I can only suggest that I have finally taken leave of my senses.

To be fair, it’s more “glamping” than camping, in that our huge bell tent has flooring and beds and a wood burning stove, and the campsite has proper flushing loos and hot showers.  But still, luxurious it most certainly is not. Though since we are about to suffer rainfall of near biblical proportions I’ll settle for a guarantee of warm and dry.

Too add to my weather woes, I have picked a campsite that does not accommodate technology.  Now I am not a lover of technology (readers may remember this) but I do have a very few basic requirements.  I like to be near my emails and texts, just in case.  I mean if the Queen dies or Cameron is assassinated or Angela Merkel launches drone attacks on the US, I feel I’d like to know.  I’m not quite sure what I’d do with that information on a wet campsite near Worcester, but, you know….. just in case.

And then there’s Facebook and Twitter.  How will I enjoy my holiday if I cannot tweet regular updates: “It’s still raining!” “We’re putting on our wellies!” “We’re lost in the fog!”  How will I know I’m having a good time if I can’t post photos of the one time my kids look clean and cute and are communing with nature?

My kids have a similar attachment to screens, being huge fans of Plants v Zombies and Angry Birds and Cut The Rope.  If you are fortunate enough not to know what these things are then my strong to the point of almost violent advice is that you keep it that way. “Can I kill a bucket head with a snow pea?” is not a question any parent should willingly contemplate.

Alas there is nowhere to charge these types of gaming device and so I have packed colouring pads and top trumps and books instead and the screens will have to stay at home.

Gawd. At this rate we might actually interact with each other.