The time of year is fast approaching when we join a gym, sign up to a new diet or swear off alcohol for the year
We are full of good intentions but, somewhere around mid-January, the long grey days take their toll and we can’t drag ourselves off the sofa to make a cup of tea, much less get to the gym. Before we know it, we are admitting that our resolution didn’t even make it to the end of the first month. Sound familiar? Well, me too, so this year I’ve decided that a few small tweaks are better than doomed attempts at a dramatic revolution. Who knows, I might actually stick to a few:
1. We all know that the rest you get before midnight is worth double what you get after, but I never get to sleep early enough, and wake up most mornings with a face like a scrunched paper bag. From now on I’m going to get to sleep before twelve at least twice a week.
2. I discovered baby wipes as a new parent, and since then I’ve used them for all sorts of things. This includes removing my make up at night and that, my friends, is the sum total of my beauty regime. Coupled with my lack of sleep, this means I will look like Whistler’s mother inside 12 months, so I’ve invested in proper grown up makeup remover, toner and moisturiser, which I will use every day. And yes, I do know that you lot have been doing this for years. Better late than never?
3. I truly do hate the gym. I hate the perfectly shaped people, the excess of lycra, the irritating “motivational” music and the endless plastic and glass. If you want to get fit, why not go outside? Trouble is I also hate running, those hideous group exercise classes you see in the park, getting sweaty and the smell of chlorine in my hair. Alas my sedentary job means if I don’t do some kind of exercise soon I will become a blimp with the lung capacity of an asthmatic ant. My solution is to promise my dogs a long walk every day in our local park during which I can point and laugh at the red faced runners. Unless it’s raining. Or snowing. Or cold. Or depressingly grey. Hmmmm.
4. As a rule I eat quite well, but it’s slipped a bit over Christmas, so the new eating rules are as follows: no bread, no pasta, no sugar. Since I can’t live without cake it has to be flour free, and chocolate has to be dark. Booze is restricted to weekends (and nights out and dinner parties and celebrations and, you know, medicinal purposes). This way I can still eat and drink the good stuff but will be fooling myself into believing it is somehow healthier and has fewer calories. That works, right? RIGHT?!
So there they are; my attempts to be healthier in 2015.