My favourite news story this week comes from the WI in Devon, who booked ship’s captain Colin Darch for a talk. 

They’ve dressed up before to match a speaker’s theme, and so for this particular evening they decided to find themselves pirate costumes.  Alas, Mr Darch had been booked to talk to them about the terrifying 47 days he spent as a hostage to Somali pirates in 2008.  A talk that he was then obliged to deliver to a room full of Captain Hooks.  Although he was a very good sport in the face of this most cringe-making of moments, the WI Treasurer could only say: “We won’t be dressing up again in a while…….”

There is something wickedly delicious about other peoples’ faux pas, so I asked my friends for their most squirm-inducing moments.  Here’s what they told me:

The Rookie Tube Error
“I asked a pregnant girl on the tube if she wanted my seat.  She wasn’t pregnant, just fat.  She still took my seat though.”

The Gender Bender
“Whilst changing over shifts at work I was approached by a Firefighter.  I smiled and said: “Can I help you young man?” To which came the reply: “Young woman actually!” Simple mistake given I saw a moustache.”

Pet Pain
“My dad was coming home from work just before Christmas when he saw our neighbour in his front garden carrying something really heavy.  “Ooooh! What’s that?” called out my dad.  “A lovely big turkey you’ve got there!”  The neighbour looked back at him, appalled.  “It’s our dog.” He replied.  “He’s just died.”

The Deal Breaker
“My boss and I were entertaining a potential client from the US, from whom we were hoping to win a very lucrative contract.   Both men were called Richard, so the client suggested we used his nickname during the evening to avoid confusion.  “Oh good idea”, I said.  “I’ve always thought of you as a Dick”.

But my favourite has to be from a woman who was attending the funeral of her very close friend’s mother.  It was, of course, a sad and solemn occasion.  At the wake, she was approached by a woman she could not quite place.  One of those awful moments when you know you know someone but can’t for the life of you recall who they are.  And then it dawned on her who this woman was.  And in full hearing of the room she exclaimed: “Oh! Of course! I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on!”  (It was a family friend she had met several times, but only at the summer house, where she had been sunbathing, topless…..) 

Let’s hear your worst ever social moments, readers.  Oh go on.  No one’s listening……   

Photo SWNS of Colin Darch meeting members of the WI in Devon