1 Feb 2013
When I wrote a blog last year titled ‘In life and death’ it got a mixed reaction, some people thought it strange that I should write about death. Why? It’s going to happen to us all, and our family and friends. Death is an unsightly inconvenience where we tend to be more concerned about the people related to the dying person than the person themselves. Dying is something we want over and done with quickly – well why wouldn’t we – we don’t want people to suffer. And that’s how we think of it suffering, an unpleasant happening.
What if we and our loved ones could plan how we die, not the circumstances obviously but the way in which our departure is handled? Felicity Warner understands death and works tirelessly to ensure that everyone she looks after has a dignified and comfortable death. Felicity’s organisation, Soul Midwives provides non-medical holistic companions who guide and support the dying in order to have a gentle and tranquil death. They work together with friends – their term for the dying – to plan compassionate care for the last days of their lives.
Using techniques such as sound touch colour and smell Soul Midwives create a comfortable environment, where the friend will be wrapped in comforting tactile cashmere blankets, with safety candles rather than harsh lighting and gentle music to soothe the senses. It’s even been known for the friend’s pets to be with them for their final hours. Holistic therapies and massage using essentials oils give a deep one to one tenderness and compassion that sadly hospitals don’t have the resources to give.
It takes a special person to continually be surrounded by death and meeting Felicity Warner you soon realise what an amazing woman she is. Kind doesn’t even start to describe Felicity; she has an inner peace which radiates to all around her. Both men and women train as Soul Midwives with 200 currently offering services throughout the country. Felicity Warner hopes to be able to train another 100 people this year, at a cost of £1000 it takes four days to train followed by an active apprenticeship, so she is always on the lookout for support and corporate sponsorship.
With more hospitals, care homes and hospices welcoming Soul Midwives it’s hoped that soon they will become as well-known as the Macmillan Nurses who support cancer patients.
Soul Midwives is a member of Dying Matters the national coalition between the Council for Palliative Care and the NHS to raise awareness and generate debate on death, dying and bereavement.
How we remember our loved ones will very much depend on those last days together, and spending time looking back over their lives and family relationships is very important. A Giving Tribute captures memories and photos of loved ones that are no longer with us and turns them into printed Tribute Cards that can be displayed and treasured within a ‘memory’ book. The Tributes capture the memory ‘footprints’ left in the hearts and minds of others, ensuring that these are not lost forever.
“My children will never meet my Mum, but I have a book filled with memories of her created by a range of people, from close family to her old school friends. The Tributes show her through the years (and all the different hairstyles and questionable fashions!) and really capture the uniqueness of ‘her’. It’s a lovely record of her life and brings me great comfort,” explains Josh Wood 22, who lost his Mother last May.
“A Tribute Card is the perfect gift – sharing a memory along with a favourite photo is such a simple thing to do and yet it means the world to the person receiving it” Josh continues.
A Giving Tribute was developed by Surrey based Liz Mowatt to solve the problem of nothing to see at the funeral along with the need for life to be celebrated and recorded for future generations
Each Tribute Card is created easily on A Giving Tribute’s Website and then sent in the post to a nominated address. Alternatively, a family might wish to give a completed ‘memory’ book as a gift. The book is available from the Company at a cost of £35.00, postage free and each Tribute Card costs the creator £4.75 including first class postage.
